2010

I've already let one day slide by.

It doesn't even feel any different. Just another day.

The new year should see me optimistic, hopeful, happy. After all, isn't that what normal people feel? It's the time for a new start, a fresh beginning, second chances.

So why do I just feel like curling up into a ball and hiding somewhere away from Life?

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
~ 1 Corinthians 10:13


There's perfect comfort in this: Christ's absolute sovereignty over my life.

I know that nothing happens to me which God doesn't allow, and if He allows it, then :-

1) He knows that I am able to bear it ;

2) it is good for me ; and

3) He will be with me every step of the way to see me through it.

Finally, that awful rage has released me from its grip.

Finally, I am able to breathe easy and rest.

Finally, there is peace.

The healing begun on Thursday night when I read an article on "Giving Thanks" which quoted Psalm 100.

Then on Friday night Jared shared on John 11, Lazarus' death. How Jesus delayed. How Martha must've been furious with Jesus. How Jesus raised Lazarus - four days dead - to life again.

Saturday, I read Jeremiah 33. It also quoted Psalm 100, and spoke of God's promise of restoration.

Sunday, Reverend Ong shared about Joseph's life. How we are people of destiny, how Joseph recognized God's hand in all the troubles he suffered. How important it is to always see with eyes of faith God's hidden hand working out His purpose in my life.

He makes all things beautiful in His time.

It's good to be back on track.

Lists

I find these annoying :-

1. Idiots who drive at 40km/h or less
2. Idiots who hog the lane
3. Idiots who carelessly swerve into other drivers' lanes

I hate these :-

1. Mosquitoes
2. Spiders

I absolutely abhor and loathe these :-

1. Fakes/Hypocrites
2. People who spew out hollow words
3. People who lead other people on


Take your words and your actions and stuff them where the sun don't shine.

One of my three crosses broke this night. Quite an omen, don't you think?

Right when I'm at a crossroad.

So much rage lately, rage at everything and at everyone. Feels like I'm drowning in it and I can't help it.

I'm watching a colder me being created and the thought should scare me but it doesn't. And the fact that I'm not scared should scare me too, but it doesn't either.

When this storm's over, I wonder who I'll see staring back at me from the mirror.

You'll Never Let Go

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life

I won’t turn back I know You are near

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

And there will be an end to these troubles

But until that day comes

Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

~ Matt Redman

What keeps me going...

No one taught me any important lessons,

growing up.

Like how never to throw away unopened envelopes

because they might contain hopes waiting to be realized,

someone else's memories,

or even something as mundane as money

Or why I shouldn't be wishing on stars

(because they crash, and

because they're really just giant gasballs

but mainly because wishes don't come true)

No one mentioned anything about the importance of sunblock,

or braces

or spoke of the inherent, ultimate solitariness of the soul

one can never hope to outgrow

But the most important lesson I never learnt

even now,

is not to fall in love with you.