Accomplishment?

I went to the mechanic's alone, twice.

I felt such satisfaction at that.

Friends

Friends are such a gift from God!

When my car broke down, I called Han Wei and even though he was already half way home, he came anyway.

Then I sent out messages asking for prayer. Jared called, Allyson messaged.

Kean Chai asked me where I was, and the whole bunch of them - Kean Chai, Dennis, Clement and Christopher - immediately set out to where I was stuck.

Han Wei sent me home, and kindly picked me up the next morning again, even though I live in such a secluded area and he's staying at the other end of the island.

Then Jonn and Charmaine waited with me in the scorching heat and found me a mechanic, and later Charmaine called to ask how I was, and told me not to hesitate to call them if I need transport.

Joy, Yisrael, Hock Chai and a few others (I'm not sure who exactly, but I intend to find out) prayed for me.

I am so blessed with such amazing friends! God bless each and every one of them abundantly!

I love them so much.

Immanuel!!!

Guess who got a summons from the police last Thursday?

Guess which girl single-handedly held up traffic at 12.15am (that's Sunday night-Monday morning to you!) Christmas morning?

Guess who then went into a panic and called up her friends to help her out?

Guess who went back home that same night, got into the shower and found a huge kick-ass spider scuttling out from behind the heater while she was in an indecent state?!

Yes. Moi. Little old me.

It has been such an eventful Christmas. So many 'bad' things happening, all at once. The devil must've had fun throwing his punches at me continually.

But you know what? My God is good.

Romans 8:28 - In all things God works for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength

I felt so wretched and broken that Christmas morning, so after my shower I just cried out to God. I opened my Bible - immediately God spoke to me.

Isaiah 7:14 - Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.

Immanuel. God With Us.

Such a wonderful promise kept by God! He was with me when my car broke down, He was with me when the spider made its appearance.

He was with me, not to judge or condemn, but to help me bear my burden!

So, yes, despite all the nerve-wracking situations I was put through, I can still proudly say IT WAS AN AMAZING CHRISTMAS!!! :)

Struggling with Grace

What do you do when someone hurts you?

Forgive, that's what Jesus asks of us. Love anyway. But it's not easy.

I struggle with hurt and love, bitterness and grace.

I know I am a sinner saved by grace, just as I know I should love others because God loves them.

But extending grace to others - remembering that they, too, are crippled just like I am crippled; that they have wounds just like I do - that's difficult to put into practice when the people you care for seem to work so hard to hurt you.

What do you do when someone you love derives a perverse pleasure in making you bleed?

So hard to remember that I was once damned, and lost, and living in darkness. So easy to feel indignant, and betrayed.

So easy to close my eyes to my own part in scarring and hurting, to choose to believe that I'm the innocent victim.

I am still struggling with this concept of grace.

Despair

Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed by despair when I think of this world and the destruction it's willingly headed for.

I see people tying themselves to railway tracks, and the train's coming. I try to help them, but they push me off in crazed suicidal frenzies, resisting my efforts.

Sometimes I get so sick of them all, and I ask myself why I should even give a damn.