Greener Grass?

Is the grass always greener in other pastures?

Not necessarily. It may seem so, but hey, optical illusion, anyone?

Sometimes, you never realize how much something or someone means to you until you've lost it/them.

Stop being discontented with what you have and start cherishing your life as it is.

Give Me Back...

Okay. Remember many posts ago, how I was moaning about English judges and their awful English?

I retract my opinion. I am sorry for all the complaints I made about them, and for all the vitriolic antagonism I felt towards their usage of English.

This is because - and I'm quite surprised that I'm surprised, because honestly, what else could I expect? - I've finally found something worse than the English used by English judges and in the law texbooks.

What's worse than that? fellow students who have been through what I've been through may ask.

Well, just you wait. Just you wait till you read some Malaysian Law textbooks.

Worse than all the convoluted, one-unending-sentence-per-paragraph, someone-stole-all-the-commas mess favored by the English lawyers, judges, and academicians, are the Malaysian English half-baked sentences that commit suicide in the middle of trying to get their point across.

Spelling mistakes, horrible punctuation, senseless sentences, wrong usage of words - atrocious English! And this, by practicing lawyers!!!

O, woe! Weep and lament for the sad state the English language has found herself in!

The horror of it all!

I'm truly repentant now. Give me back my convoluted sentences! Give me back the long paragraphs with missing commas! Give me back the dry British wit! At least I could understand them, even though the process takes quite awhile. At least their English, although ostentatious, was perfect! No stupid mistakes, no wrong usage of words.

Give me back the British English and my English judges!!! :(

Best Ever

Tuesday night - Joy and I faced some trouble. Wednesday morning and afternoon - we were both in an unhappy state of mind. Oppressed without realizing we were oppressed. Although we were both in the library, we didn't talk.

Then when preparing for the CF, she finally said, "I feel uneasy, have felt so for the whole day." And with that, the devil's plan was exposed.

We prayed and the spiritual atmosphere turned 180 degrees around.

The meeting started...and it was the best ever CF meeting! Joy shared on "Suffering", and she did a great job! Not even the speakers we have invited could compare.

You could literally feel the Spirit's presence and guidance. It was just awesome! Joy actually threw away her drafts and shared solely by the Holy Spirit's guidance.

God MOVED in our meeting yesterday!!!

It struck me afresh, how so many believers worldwide can be persecuted and still persevere, while we, in our comfortable lifestyles, complain and grumble all the way.

How believers, maimed in life or handicapped from birth, can still smile sincerely with perfect peace in their hearts while we, with both hands and feet, with all our 5 senses, wish that we were thinner, more beautiful, more 'perfect'.

How the Christians during the Roman rule chose not to deny Christ, even when it meant a slow, painful, torturous death.

How so many people everywhere in the world willingly take up their cross and laugh in joy doing it, while I complain about tiny, unimportant, petty things.

Yes, I cried. I cried listening to the stories of martyrs, cried for my own selfishness and self-centeredness, cried that God forgives me and loves me despite myself.

I dare say that none of us went untouched, and I pray that we will - all who attended - truly live wholly for Christ alone.

That Prom Thing

We talked about going to the prom together, all 4 of us. Then Sin Yee moved away.

And as the time for that P-Day drew near, I began to dread it. The implications of what I'd done dawned on me, the realization sending a sick shock through my whole mind, body and soul.

What did I get myself into???!!!

(In case you think I'm exaggerating, I give you a real-life scenario: A friend who knows me well heard from Joy that I'd be going to the prom. His reaction? He laughed. Long and loud.)

Then it turned out that hey, it's on a day when I have classes. Oh,joy!!! Happily, I tendered my (truthful) excuses. I'm pulling out, can't miss class now, can I?

Then Joy began to exercise her powers of persuasion. One thing I can vouch for, she's an extremely persistent person.

I understood immediately what Jesus meant when He spoke of the Parable of the Persistent Widow. And then also, there's that Bible verse which tells us we must keep our word even though it hurts us.

Okay, then. I'm well and truly screwed.

My big mouth actually got me into the whole prom mess. What's that saying again about Silence Is Golden?

Note to self: Keep Mouth Shut.

Note to Joy: When you read this, I hope you have a major guilt trip. You're the only reason I'm going. :p

Soledad's Dreamscape

Empty, gray sky stretching out as far as the eye can see. Flat desolate landscape, hues of gray and tired black, featureless except for dark stones and dead trees twisted into fantastical shapes by wild, lonely winds.

I know this place, she thinks, in her not-dream. I've been here before.

Knowing how it always goes in her dreamscape, Soledad takes a step forward. And another. And another.

She reaches a mere, unnoticed until she was almost at its edge, its waters perfectly still, perfectly gray. Reflecting the nothingness of the empty gray sky. A small rocky outcrop hangs at one side, protectively, a few feet above the ground.

Soledad climbs up and perches there. She leans over slightly, and sees the empty pool fill with a face - hers. She stares at herself.

My face, she thinks, is mine, but I do not know it. My eyes, my eyes, windows to my soul, but I do not recognize it.

I am so tired. I am weary.

Her dark eyes stare back at her, numb and passionless.

I do not have the emotional strength to feel anymore - not joy nor anger. Not even sorrow. I cannot grieve. I cannot feel. I have no tears left to weep.

And these thoughts fail to scare her. Soledad is numb, through and through. The core of her soul is not even ice - it is empty.

A small pebble, dislodged by her presence, falls into the mirror-smooth waters. Though not very large, the mere is deceptively deep.

She watches the weary ripples distort her eyes, her lips, her face. Her reflection smiles, laughs, weeps, dances. It speaks to her.

I recognize you now, she thinks to the distorted, reflected eyes. Wait for me, I am coming.

And she jumps into the mere

...cold cold cold icy cold...

her body drifting towards the bottomless deep

...so so cold feel so safe I can feel again feel again feel so safe I'm sinking so safe though I can't swim so damn safe...

and she could see, through the surface, past the streams of bubbles that left her lips, the gray, empty sky.

Part III : My Great 8!!!

Joy started this, Sin Yee continued - so I'm finishing it. It's only natural. What's "this"? Why, my list of the 8 Most Gorgeous guys! :) Not in any particular order, though...


1) Kaka - He's plays good football (although he didn't really shine in the recent World Cup, but hey, nobody's perfect all the time, right?) and looks good.




2) Dave Navarro - He has this 'bad boy' look that I absolutely go crazy over. He looks good playing guitar. I've always had a thing for musicians!




3) Gary Dourdan - I would say he's my Dream Guy personified, physically at least. I love the dark skin-light eyes combination, plus he's got this really terrific smile that just melts my heart. And a great voice! Just look at him...sigh...




4) Jon Bon Jovi - Ah, my first love! For that reason, he merits 2 pictures. Plus, he looks so gorgeous in both pictures, I couldn't decide which to put up! Besides looking good, he sounds good. Love his voice and his songwriting talents up till 'These Days'. (After that, unfortunately, he began to suck). Check out the way his eyes peek out from his bangs, such a mixture of utter little-boy cuteness and breathtaking, macho gorgeousness. And that mysterious, dreamy pose...sigh...





5) Jon Jonsson - I think the picture speaks for itself! First saw him on Manhunt and thought he'd go far. And he ended up winning. I sure can pick 'em, huh? :) Great smile, great bod.




6) Steven Strait - Saw him in Sky High. Bought the DVD because of him. Basically spent the entire time he appeared on screen drooling and melting into a helpless puddle (Sin Yee can attest to this). Love the whole 'bad boy' look. Just go watch the movie to see what I mean. This isn't him at his best, not by far.




7) Rodrigo Santoro - Hot, hot, hot!!! Looks equally gorgeous - as a semi-naked evil surfer (Charlie's Angels 2), and as a guy in a suit and spectacles (Love Actually). Smouldering looks totally fry my brain.




8&9) Johnny Depp & Orlando Bloom - Okay, okay, so I cheated. But I can't help it! Choosing between them is impossible. So what's a girl to do? Answer: Find a picture which includes both men! Didn't like Orlando Bloom at first as Legolas. But he sort of grew on me during Pirates of the Caribbean. And Johnny Depp, well, he's an amazing actor!




So there goes. My Great 8. Or 9, rather. Of course, this list is based purely on aesthetic value. Otherwise, some wouldn't be here...

As Lucinda Williams says, and I quote, "The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle". Not just any motorcycle, of course. The superbike kind...

Spread Too Thin

Sometimes I wish I had a clone because it seems like I have no time to do the things I want to do. Bad time management? Maybe.

So much to blog about, and so little time to do it. *sigh*

Uh oh!

Yes, I've been getting jibes and comments from some relatives of mine who don't seem to understand the term 'platonic'.

It's bugging the heck out of me. Seriously.

Just because I have a good friend who's a guy, who has met most of my relatives, they think he's my boyfriend.

DO YOU KNOW HOW FRIGGIN' ANNOYING IT IS???!!! If you don't, I wish it on you.