Healing

All my life, without conscious realization, I've felt unworthy and inadequate. I was always waiting to mess things up, waiting to screw up. Always angry and depressed. I was afraid of life.

After accepting Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, things eased up for a bit and I gained a measure of peace. But it was not over. I would often sink into depression, and hate myself every minute of it. I wanted to get out of it, but it was hard. Prayer and God's Word would help - until the next attack.

I wondered if there was something wrong with me, because no Spirit-filled Christian who has a saving relationship with Jesus should be like this. Right? Wrong.

Last night I read "Healing For Damaged Emotions" by David Seamands, and although it was a second reading, this time it was as if I was reading it for the first time. God really 'spoke' to me through this book last night.

Guess what? I'm 'normal' after all! Even Christians go through depression! And I'm not the only one feeling the way I do. :)

Anyway, the main thing, the liberating thing, is that I've diagnosed my problem. Now that I know what it is, know that it can be gotten rid of, I can take the first step towards complete inner healing.

Joy and Chun Chung - thank you very very much for responding to my S.O.S and praying with me. I love you guys!

I feel lighter, freer.

God is faithful, because even as I type this, I remember someone telling me a few months back when he prayed for me that he saw a white dove - peace.

He is beginning His work to peel off and heal the second layer. :) Hallelujah!