Blessed are those...

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

A few weeks back, I was in a slump of doubt, a pit of despair. All around me, my friends were growing in Christ. I felt so hopeless, so useless. Some have visions, have felt the touch of the divine.

And I? I was just stumbling along, crawling at a pace which would make snails happy.

I was stagnant, and I felt as dirty as stagnant water. I cried out to God - why Lord?! What am I doing wrong?

I sobbed, I wept. And then out of this stifling fog, a breath of fresh air touched me. A thought came, that verse from John 20:29...

Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed...

Jesus' very own words! I felt a sense of peace. That storm of doubt, despair and depression just abated. I was free.

Along with those words of encouragement, God reminded me that I should not rely on my own strength. That as a soldier for Christ, a time of waiting is equally as important as a time of action, but more difficult to bear. That whatever valley or mountain-top I'm at, God is always with me and I should turn to Him.

I am not unloved by Him; just because He doesn't seem to be near doesn't mean that He has abandoned me.

I thank God for that low slump. It was a period of evaluation, of readying myself for action. It has made me draw closer to God.

To God be the glory!