Tension of Opposites

Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle. - Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom

I often feel right smack in the middle of the rubber band. The center of a game of tug-of-war, a maelstrom of conflicting emotions and desires.

Yet I am not torn between duty and desire. No, I am more complicated than that. I am torn between my own emotions. My very nature is a paradox.

I can be very loud and outspoken, yet I'm very shy. I can make a decision lightning-fast and feel sure about it, yet wonder for hours about what to eat. I daydream and am a closet romantic, but I am also terrifically practical in some matters. I dislike bratty kids, but can melt at the sight of a baby sleeping.

I am constant and steadfast in certain areas, and at the same time unsure about others. Confident one day, terrified the next day.

I am a complete spectrum of emotions and thoughts - I have been at every point from one end to the other. A perfect paradoxical package.

But in a strange, inexplicable way, I am not confused. It's just who I am. People may think me a liar because I contradict myself, but I am not.

And in the midst of all this tension, there are certainties entrenched deeply. Only the surface is roiling - the depths are steady and secure.

Like my values and principles, my love for my bed, my loyalty to family and friends - these remain strong.

And the most important factor - if 'factor' is the right word - my eternal lodestar and guiding light, my ultimate Master - the Lord Jesus Christ.

So, although I am a study on contradiction, the consistencies are actually tiny and unimportant. In the essentials, I am secure.

Don't worry if you find yourself facing this tension of opposites. Morrie had an answer as to which side would win, and personally, I agree with him - Love always wins.

Although, of course, it must be the right kind of love, godly love - but that is a matter for another entry altogether!