Regression

I've been a bad, bad girl, doing things I know I shouldn't, saying words thoughtlessly, giving in to the Dark Side.

It's such a terrible thing, this slump - a deep dark pit I thought was successfully covered, filled with monsters I thought I'd slain. Walls so slimy, sticky like poisonous molasses, my hands and feet sinking in each time I try to climb out, so that I am deeper entangled the more I struggle.

It's so tempting to give in, to let go of all inhibition, to fall. Give in fully to my emotions, embrace the walls, let them cover me, fall into the pit.

So easy to be angry, so easy to spit acid and vitriol each time I part my lips to speak. So easy to wound others, to fight back tooth and claw those who hurt me.

So easy, sometimes, to forget that Calvary love, the Place of the Skull.

Help me remember, O Lord.

Help me love.